Teens Talk 'Sexting' and More in New Dating Abuse Course

Did you know that there are 67 different ways you can use a cell phone to abuse someone in a dating situation?

Diane Beni knows. And now all the students in Ms. Lisa Delli Santi's ninth grade health class at Columbia High School know. Beni was there on Thursday, June 3, debuting a new program—developed by Liz Claiborne Inc. and the Education Development Center Inc.—to inform students about the technology aspects of teen dating abuse.

"How can you use your cell phone to abuse someone?" Beni asked the students. The hands shot up. Ultimately the students offered instances that included sending abusive, nasty messages and forwarding personal photos. "Throw it at someone!" called out one class clown, but Beni acknowledged that, indeed, throwing a cell phone was one of the 67 ways.

Before she was done with the students, Beni had discussed how a romantic interest can try to pressure you into taking and sending personal photos and then use those for blackmail purposes. She talked about not sharing your passwords (including a discussion of how people can hack into your Facebook account and pose as you). Finally, she talked about the actual potential legal implications of cyber-stalking, sexting and more, giving examples of girls who had been arrested for pornography and a teenage boy who had been placed on a sex-offenders list in Pennsylvania.

And Beni learned a thing or two herself—the students brought her up-to-date on formspring, a social media network where you can invite people to anonymously make comments about you.

Beni and the students were all clearly enjoying the conversation, despite the hot and stuffy nature of a classroom on an early June day.

"They are also the most responsive group," Beni said of the Columbia High students. "We love going into that school"

Beni, herself a Maplewood resident with one child in CHS and one graduated, is teaching this program through her volunteer work with the Linda & Rudy Slucker National Council of Jewish Women (NCJW) Center for Women. She noted that the NCJW has been offering the Liz Claiborne Love is Not Abuse program for years, but that this new piece was a specific add-on for digital dating abuse. "This was nice in that we could strictly focus on digital," said Beni. "Instead of the kids getting little bits of information here and there."

She explained why it is so important to get the information directly to the students. "The kids know more than we do. And the middle man is gone. No one is calling the house. No one is developing photos at the drug store."

"You try to wrap it together for them, and help them see the long-run, the negative side. We can offer them perspective."